The Curse of Eve: Woman will forever settle


We will settle with our jobs. Our health. Our living arrangements. Our hours. Our pay. Our dinner menus. Our cars. All for the happiness of others. We will go without so that someone else may have.

But why do we settle with our men? Nobody else gains in that situation.
Every one of us that goes to bed thinking "Is this it?" KNOWS that this isn't it. There IS something better out there. But still we settle. For today or for ten years. We don't do for ourselves.

I have been robbed of every romantic movie moment I can imagine. Robbed of the perfect prom. Robbed of laying on the hood of my T-Bird under the stars at the beach. Robbed of driving nowhere, going nowhere, having fun. Robbed of giggling and love notes. I have been robbed of heartfelt talks late at night about naming the children, putting them on the schoolbus for the first time.

I have been robbed of fairytale dreams and happy endings. I no longer believe in soulmates or true love. I don't think I'll ever be emotionally fulfilled. I don't believe that happiness comes to those who work for it, because my work has yet to pay off.

And why? Who gains? Not me. It's not like giving up the last piece of cake so that someone else can enjoy it more. It's not like sacrificing your swollen and aching feet for another day at work, so we can afford the expensive steaks that he likes.

It's sacrifice for nothing. I can see my life 10 years from now. No emotional growth, no shared spiritual experience. No nothing. Just bills, children, and parent-teacher night.

I don't believe in fairy tale love anymore. I don't believe in drive-in movies or homemade pancakes in bed on Sunday morning. I don't believe in sneaking kisses at Gramma's house on Christmas. I don't believe in whispering under the covers.

I believe that I have settled. And I don't think I will forgive myself.

So why do I let myself?